History Doesn't Have to Repeat Itself! Part 2

It's been a while since I wrote my first post on this topic and so much has happened.  The  pain did present it self but so did God's grace and mercy.  I am going to a biblical counselor for the next couple of months to work through this process of becoming "free in Christ".  Well, technically if we are "in Christ" we already have this freedom but we have to learn how to walk in it.  So that's why I'm there.  I truly want to be free to learn to walk in the truth.  Free to be me.  I've been to counseling before a few times and it has always given me a clearer perspective.  More times than not I go in with my finger pointing at someone else and leave with the finger pointing back at me and equipped with some healthy tools to help me in this sanctification process.  I would strongly recommend biblical counseling to ALL my friends and family members.  There is nothing quite like a little objective perspective! 

I learned at my last session that I've been harboring unforgiveness and bitterness for a long time.  Mostly, because I had a wrong view of what forgiveness looks like in action. The Cross is the ultimate example and expression of forgiveness.  The Cross was messy, bloody and painful.  Yet, it was the only way sinful man could be made right with a holy God.  It's one thing to say "I forgive you" it's quite another to live like you've forgiven that person because we don't forget even if we have forgiven; our hearts remember the hurt and pain.  My counselor pointed out that forgiveness is not necessarily for the other person but for you and your relationship with God.  It's to set you free. Isn't it strange how easily our hearts can deceive us?  If you would have asked me a  month ago if I had any unforgiveness in my heart towards anyone I would have told you no!  I have a quiet time with the Lord each day asking Him to search my heart, spend time in confessing my known sins by name, seeking his forgiveness and time in worshipping my Savior.  What I learned from my counselor last week is that I don't spend time really being "still and knowing that He is God".  Not just sitting still but "being" still.  My heart, mind, soul and mouth being still and sitting in the stillness of the Lord. 

I am so grateful for these counseling sessions.  The Holy Spirit has used them to pull some things out of my heart that were buried deep within, so I could see them for what they truly are and repent, forgive and receive His grace and power to turn  from the old habits, hangups and hurts. 

I am learning to just "be" in His presence and slowly learning to just be the "me" God created me to be.  Not a carbon copy of any other person.  God made me to glorify Him in the way He made me "in Christ" and by just by being Renee.  Praying history doesn't have too repeat itself in my family tree. 

Ps. 91 In the Shadow of the Almighty,