Sometimes it just hurts, makes you feel used. I've had a relationship like that...well, if you can even call it a relationship! Someone I prayed for a long time about a particular situation, we talked on the phone and would even meet for coffee from time to time. I really thought we were building a good friendship. God answered our prayers and boy did He deliver! I understand how busy life can get...after all, I am a mother of four children myself BUSY is my middle name. Things just stopped with this "friend". No phone calls, no comments on my fb page. Not even a quick chat when we are both on.
I can't help but feel hurt by it all. It's perplexing! I don't know if I did or said something that offended her? I am bewildered by the whole thing really. My friends like my family are very important to me. Women were made for relationships. Men are too, but they don't seem to have so much of their selves invested in their "buddies". I tried talking to her (not wanting to seem "needy"), but her response is always "adjusting has been hard";yet I would see her going with other friends and doing things. Inviting others out on special occasions. I fervently prayed for her and her family during the time when they were waiting on God to deliver. Doesn't that mean anything now?
Proverbs - "A friend loves at all times" is a two-sided thing. Would it hurt to just send a note or pick up the phone once in awhile? I have other friends who are just as busy...but somehow, we manage to make time for one another, not often as we would like after all we all have families and commitments. But, we are there for each other when it counts and do try to get together once in awhile. Maybe there is a reason why this friendship hasn't grown....
In the meantime, God has called me to be a true friend no matter how the other person responds. So hard as it may be it is another chance to die to self, to love by His grace and His power, to know when to let go of something that is not producing fruit.
Several years back I lost a very "good" friend. We had been friends for 10 years. It was over something that should have been fixable. It was very painful. I grieved over that friendship for a while. It was like a death! It was so hard I would see her out and it was as if she had just met a stranger and was being polite, how odd? Someone, I spent lots of time laughing, crying, praying and sharing life with all of a sudden was no longer there. They were cold and far away. God helped me to recover from the blow, even being sweet enough to show me some of the "why" behind it. He is so good!
Maybe I just care too much? I don't know. I know I think too much and at times can over analyze things. Just wish people would be honest in their relationships and not leave people hanging. To speak truth with your neighbor is more than just speaking the truth of the gospel..it is in everyday dealings. God has called us to be truthful in our relationships.
All this has made me ask myself a few questions: What kind of friend am I? Am I a self-centered friend? Am I consumed with me and mine? Do I care about things that are going on in my friends lives? Am I willing to die to self in order to let them know I am thinking and praying for them? Do I make time for them? Will I make time to build healthy relationships? Or, do I like surface, shallow relationships that the world or the carnal christian offers? Or do I desire to be like Proverbs says - "A friend that loves at all times"?
Something to think about.
Learning to "love at all times"...even when I don't "feel" loved back.
Following His Lead,
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